Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Hydra

Do you remember that mythical, multi-headed beast? The one that Hercules was directed to slay? The Hydra had many heads, and if you chopped one off, two more grew in its place. It also had one immortal head.

My ex-husband is a Hydra.

His immortal head seems to be hatred of me. The reproducing heads are his never-ending attempts to yank my chain.

He's in full battle mode today because I drew a line in the sand this week about e-mail communications. I told him that any more e-mail discussions of his feelings toward me, or e-mails implying that he wished I had died, would mean that I would cut off e-mail contact and he would have to deal with me directly.

As this is the one thing he very much wishes to avoid, he has moved into dive-bombing me with "fact-based" e-mails about the children. He seems desperate to maintain some kind of emotional hold on me, and now he is using the "welfare of the children" to do that.

It won't work. Mostly because I'm much healthier emotionally than I used to be, and I can see much more clearly just how well the kids are doing.

Last night, I had a brief chat with them about an issue their dad had raised. My son is more close to the vest with his emotions, but still pretty readable. My daughter wears her emotional weather on her sleeve. They were both genuinely puzzled that the Hydra would assess the situation the way he did. The Emperor said "I don't know where THAT's coming from! That may be Dad's perception, but it's not right."

I wish I could find my ex another Hydra to play with. I really do think he'd be happier, and I wouldn't have to keep fighting new heads full of fangs.