One of the reasons I decided to go back to giving up my daily pleasures of Diet Cokes and sweets was because in my early years of "doing Lent"--which I did on my own, outside of church--those little deprivations made me do a lot of soul-searching. Those were my "good Lents," if you will.
Once I got into church, I heard other people take a lot of ribbing about giving up chocolates or sodas---the implication was that these were not SERIOUS disciplines. That "real" Christians gave up things that mattered or---more important--took on new spiritual disciplines.
I'm sure that no one was TRYING to do spiritual one-upsmanship, but that was the message I got. So, for the most part, I stopped giving stuff up and started trying to take stuff on.
As a result, I haven't had a "good Lent" in years. I'm a mother, own my own business, and now commute to be a wife too. (And I have to fit the dog in there somewhere.) I have finally realized that taking stuff on is--quite simply--a recipe for spiritual failure at this point in my life.
(And before someone comes in here and starts giving me a pep-talk about not thinking of spiritual things in terms of "failure"...well, thanks, but don't worry. It's a figure of speech, you know?)
So I'm back to giving up the little things I really enjoy--and consume without thinking most of the time. I will not win any Olympic gold medals for my discipline--and I'm sure there are plenty of folks who will find my choices puerile (if I even bother to mention them, outside of the blogosphere). But I'm coming to understand that God is in EVERYTHING--even in the smallest and seemingly most insignificant choices I make.
To be honest, there is some discomfort in that. Who wants to think that God is interested in Every.Single.Thing you do? It sounds almost stalker-ish...
And yet...I grow more and more convinced that, in everything we do and every choice we make, God is there, calling to us. Calling us to the good--for ourselves, for others, and for the earth. Calling us to holiness--to be the people we were meant to be. Calling us into a relationship so total and--dare I say it?--erotic, that it makes sex look tame and boring.
That's a lot to lay on an unopened can of Diet Coke. But, for me, it's a start--or, more accurately, it's my little choice for this morning. This morning, I chose to write this blog post, rather than succumb to the temptation of going downstairs for the soda (even though I can hear it calling my name from here). I thought about God for the better part of the morning. And while I won't claim that I reached any Kama Sutra-type heights, I felt connected.
Somehow, I think that's what it's all about.
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19 comments:
Amen, dear Doxy!
Somebody complained that giving up or doing something for Lent that benefits us is not "kosher". I'm pushing the deadline to get out of the recliner by 1 pm at the moment because I've vowed to spend less time there and consequently on the internet. I hope to benefit by getting more done around the house and getting more exercise. It has to do with regaining and maintaining a healthy me because my ability to do things I've promised to do for others is affected by my response to stress from the house and my overweight flabby body. Godde didn't give me this body for me to abuse it. Likewise addiction to anything is surely not pleasing to Godde. We will do this together. Meanwhile my clock says 1 pm so like Cinderella...
Somebody complained that giving up or doing something for Lent that benefits us is not "kosher".
Poppycock!!!
(That's exactly the kind of person I like to bite. Who died and made them God?!)
Good luck with your discipline, Piskie. I struggle with sloth a lot. I tell people that it's because I'm a Leo---we can run down gazelles when necessary, but the rest of the time, you will find us napping under the trees. ;-)
I TOTALLY get your struggle here. I have the same one with Diet Coke -- it's not the taste [goodness knows! it tastes terrible!!] but I am so addicted to the idea of it. The feel of it. And yes, I even like the message that drinking it sends to others around me.
I will stop now so that I can quit thinking about it. I'm right there with you!! Day 2.5, no Diet Coke! :)
Laura--my sister!! I'm realizing that it's not just the bite, either. It's having something in my hand when I'm not typing.
Which may explain why I've blogged two times this week!
I suspect you have more cognitive dissonance on this issue than I do, given what a healthy cook and eater you are. My diet is total crap and I know it and don't care. I know I should, but it's hard to do when all your numbers (weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.) are normal. I can give up Diet Coke but I would starve to death if I had to give up meat! (Probably another Leo thing... ;-)
I don't believe you necessarily need the affirmation, Doxy... you seem crystal clear. Still, here is something you may enjoy: a wonderful Barbara Brown Taylor piece, "Settling for Less," which really affirms the giving up of this or that small pleasure as part of a very serious spiritual discipline. So, take that, one-uppers.
http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=643
You are on fire my dear, giving up that Diet Coke is having some impact. As with all things addictive, it has a narcotic impact, so for now, it is working in your favor in multiple ways!
Maggie--bless you for the link! There is so much there to ponder. (And I have heard ALL those voices in my head over the years!)
Fran--I think I could have written 3 blog posts today alone! ;-)
My muse has been on vacation, and has apparently returned just in time for Lent. She's such a minx....
It's good to find more posts from you, so maybe the lack of Diet Coke is adding words to your life? Interesting perspectives from each commenter. Connections are worthwhile.
My discipline is about addiction, one that is not healthy for my marriage. I have put away my credit card, and I have pledged to use my debit card only for household necessities like food, cat food, cleaning supplies and the like. This really hurts...but it will be a good discipline for me. Since I'm taking cash (pesos) on the trip with me, I will have a limit there. Maybe I can conquer my spending sprees at least for Lent.
I love this post.
And I can't bear people who have one-size-fits-all solutions that alone will guarantee your spiritual growth.
If God is your guide, then you'll do exactly what it right for you this particular Lent.
It could change next year, it might always be right.
You'll know.
You are right on, dear Doxy.
Kevin, my colleague and buddy and priest who is also the Episcopal chaplain to Guilford (and UNCG and Greensboro College) preached a lovely Ash Wednesday sermon for the college crew, the gist of which was the Lenten disciplines are made to help us pay more attention to God, or be closer to God. Simple, but true. (Part of his point was that giving up chocolate to lose weight isn't a Lenten discipline even if it's done in Lent, but doing it in the Lenten spirit if it is in some way keeping us from time with God or attention to God, that is good. And it doesn't matter what the discipline is, as long as we chose one that has this central reality in mind.)
I've given up Facebook on Fridays and Saturdays in Lent, and I may stretch that out to Sundays. I'm finding that it creates space in and outside me and that it stopped the automatic reflex that is like your picking up the soda can. I can already feel the difference in my life -- and it's already not so easy.
I haven't been on the blogs in ages, but will be returning, beginning with this visit (I'm off to read Fran's now :-)) but slowly and in the spirit of contemplation. Thanks for witnessing to me and to all of us at the beginning of this Lent. May it be holy for us all.
I am glad that you are choosing to do what is meaningful for you. I've had the opposite issue. I tend to do better when I add something, but have felt that wasn't a "real fast." And in my case too, the sense of not living up came from what I heard from other people.
I think God just wants us to deepen our relationship with him.
your post title is right on. I think any discipline that causes us to think/reflect/depend on God in whatever way, big or small, is good for us. I myself have often dissed the "diet coke thing" but now I realize that sodas are not a particular temptation for me. but that doesn't mean this deprivation doesn't work for others.
I gave up meat, but I live in a country with lotsa fish, so I'm cool. Plus, living with a raw food vegetarian means I have no problem eating vegetables, just not all the dang time.
I gave up coffee once year, which was crazy, especially since I hadn't killed anyone or did anything deserving that kind of penance.
Thanks for a great post.
WV= killar
This post was a killar post.
Lenten disciplines are a form of prayer. Doesn't matter at all what the form is --it is the attention to prayer which matters.
God bless you Doxy.
Hey Doxy...
I appreciated your affirmation of my comment at Carol's blog.
I'm not a very God-oriented person these days, despite a long, largely positive history as an Episcopalian.
When I am in more spiritual space, though, I'm just the opposite on God's attention to the miniscule details of my life. I love Psalm 139 and knowing that God is present and ever aware, but the possibility of being stalked or critiqued on every detail leaves me cold.
Not an argument here... it's just intriguing to hear that concept that creeps me out brings another person peace... and I'm pro-peace!
Take care...
I have got to the stage of just wanting to give up Lent.
Hi, Steve--thanks for dropping by and commenting! I love Carol's blog--it's a wonderful ministry. I wish there had been something like it back in the early 90s, when I thought I was the only person in the world who had a gay spouse...
As for your comment--I've come to the conclusion that there are so many different colors, flavors, musical styles, etc. for a reason. Whatever brings you closer to God is good!
DP--that's a fine choice too! I can't remember---did Luther do away with Lent? ;-)
Cheers,
Doxy
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