I am a Diet Coke addict.
There, I confessed it.
When the Empress was very little, I was diagnosed with gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). The symptoms were such that I honestly felt as if I were having a heart attack. This was quite...disconcerting...for someone in her late 30s, with a family history of heart disease. (My paternal grandmother died of heart disease in her 50s.)
One of the things I had to do to deal with GERD was to give up soda. It was a terribly difficult thing for me, because I drank multiple cans a day---but for many years, I couldn't drink more than 3 sips of soda before I felt the tell-tale chest pains.
It tells you something about my addiction that I kept trying...
About a 18 months ago, I discovered that I could drink sodas again. I suspect it had to do with the fact that I COMPLETELY changed my life. I was no longer miserable, and apparently my body responded by lowering acid production. So I'm back up to my 3-4 cans-a-day Diet Coke habit.
What I love about Diet Coke is the bite.
It's not the taste. It's the "bite" of the carbonation that hooks me. And there is a lesson there, I'm afraid.
I love to bite. I love to argue, and even more than loving to argue, I love to win.
Tonight, as Dear Friend recited the liturgy for Ash Wednesday, I asked God to help me lose my love of the bite. I asked for a gentle spirit and a gentle and forgiving heart.
This is a hard request for someone who continually battles for justice for the marginalized. I have said many times that I wish Jesus hadn't said all that stuff about loving your enemies and praying for those who persecute you. It's so much FUN to eviscerate the people with whom you disagree! And, to be perfectly honest with you, I'm pretty damned good at it.
But biting doesn't achieve much, does it? All it does it CREATE enemies--and all *that* does is lengthen my prayer list!
I will never give up my passion for justice and the Gospel, but I have seen people who know how to advocate for the good without biting. I know that it is possible--and that it will take a miracle to achieve it in my case.
I am giving up Diet Coke for Lent--and hoping to give up the bite. In my case, it is a serious sacrifice for both. I ask for your prayers.
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About Me
- Wormwood's Doxy
- I am a passionate, progressive, Episcopalian feminist who loves poetry, strong tea with lots of cream and sugar, and lilies. I am committed to "living out loud." I sometimes dance with the Devil--he is always complaining that I try to lead.
Remember the woman your mother warned you about?
I do not suffer fools gladly...
Things that make you go "Hmmmmmm"....
Words to live by....
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Doxy supports same-sex marriage. You should too.
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22 comments:
Prayers are on the way! The love of soda is lost on me; other addictions however are not!
As someone who gave up snarky comments for Lent last year -- I resonate.
Oh, dear heart. Prayers for you.
You know I understand (even if I drink some Yankee brand).
Doxy, may God bless you with a good Lent.
Today in my comments, I named Colin Coward, Bishop Gene, and Louie Crew as heroes of the "Love them anyway!" school in seeking justice. Advocating for good without biting can be done. I haven't arrived there yet.
How brave you and so wonderfully expressed. I need to work on this, too. (Forgive me but I would have liked to see you and Sarah Hey in the ring first!)
I prayed for something similar last night.
You have my prayers (although, I can't give up the diet soda...)
I do tend to pray for and forgive my enemies. But I lose points for being smug and self righteous about it. I believe the best we can do is to continually try for that ideal of Christ love. We only fail when we give up trying.
Good luck on the soda withdrawal. Prayers ascending for both issues.
Y'all are making me laugh!
Fran--I hear you, sister!
Ann--what happened after Lent? Did you indulge in one long snarkfest on Easter Sunday? I would have. ;-)
Paul--I love you even if you *do* drink Pepsi. And I hate to tell you this, but Pepsi was developed in North Carolina. It's very hard for a Coca Cola addict to live in North Carolina...
Mimi--I sent Louie a note telling him about this entry, and he e-mailed me back. He really is my hero. +Gene and Susan Russell also make my list.
klady---you and Dear Friend! Ugh. Personally, I'd be happy if I never heard her name again....
(((Eileen))) Prayers for you too.
I do tend to pray for and forgive my enemies. But I lose points for being smug and self righteous about it.
8th day---that's the quote of the day. ;-)
After Lent -- I still think about it but occasionally !! lapse -- as you know from reading my FB and other remarks elsewhere.
It's a process, Ann---or at least that's what I tell myself! ;-)
Doxy, this really hit me. I am a TAB addict, also because of its "bite." I drink 3-4 a day and have to have a can when I wake up. This is a big confession of something I hide! Wishing you well as your journey more bravely into Lent than I.
This year for Lent I am volunteering to take on everyone's unwanted bad habits. I will eat your Godiva truffles and your red meat, drink your alcohol and coffee and even your Diet Coke. I mean, it's the least I can do, right? So send all your self-indulgences to me, PJ. I'll consume the transfats so you don't have to! And as for that biting thing, Doxy, I'm really looking forward to it.
::wink wink wink etc. ::
PJ, yours is the bestest Lenten discipline evah!
Jan--isn't it funny what we feel embarrassed to admit?!
PJ--that is so kind of you! How many Diet Cokes have you consumed on my behalf today? You should be about finished with Number 3 at this point... ;-)
(As for giving up meat and wine, I may be penitent, but I'm not CRAZY!)
Oh my goodness, Doxy, my prayers are with you. My addiction is coffee--strong, dark, x-bold and sipped (or chugged) all day long and into the night. I can't imagine giving it up. The withdrawal headache would not begin to let up until Easter dawned.
The praying for our enemies thing--I pray it everyday, but some days it is a lot harder to do than others. My dad used to tell me that vitriol only damaged the vessel that contained it. I try to think of that when I pray my daily office. He would tell me if I couldn't forgive people for their sake or even for the love of God, forgive them for the sake of my own wellbeing. (Dad was a shrink; that explains much
BooCat--your dad was a wise man. But you already knew that... :-)
Thank you for your prayers! There is no way I could give up caffeine altogether. As you will note in my "About Me" on this blog, I love strong tea with lots of cream and sugar. I have two huge cups every morning. Giving that up would result in a marked inability to function at work, and since I am self-employed, I'm pretty sure that God doesn't want me to go THAT far! ;-)
My dad used to tell me that vitriol only damaged the vessel that contained it....He would tell me if I couldn't forgive people for their sake or even for the love of God, forgive them for the sake of my own wellbeing.
Boocat, my thought exactly. Harboring unforgiveness is poisonous. Forgive if only for selfish reasons.
allowing people to live rent free in your mind -- I just heard that
Mimi--I think it is important to tell people that "selfish forgiveness" is perfectly acceptable.
Ann--that bit about "rent-free" is one of my favorite phrases.
Hmmm . . . You've inspired me. I was thinking about turning off the word verification thingy for Lent and just dealing with what came over.
Nah, I'd rather give up Diet Coke.
WV: cancet.
Elizabeth---I think your Lenten discipline is supposed to make you think, not annoy you to death! ;-)
Plus the word verification thingie (as much as I hate DOING it elsewhere) has cut down on my own sin of cussing too much. So there's that...
I love reading about Lenten disciplines that are as meaningful as this. Saying a prayer for God's blessing on this endeavor.
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