My Lenten discipline is not going well.
Your kind words and encouragement have mattered a great deal to me, so I wanted to give a brief update on the status of my Lenten musings. I promised to write at a time when work got really hectic. Since my professional writing is what keeps a roof over my kids' heads and food in their bellies, I hope Jesus doesn't mind that I've put him on the back burner.
But the truth is that *I* mind.
My Lenten observance very often falls prey to the exigencies of the day. It has been years since I felt as if I truly met my Lenten obligations. Last year, I was descending into madness--I barely even remember anything about Lent 2006. I had hoped to do better this year.
When I told one of my closest friends that I had taken on something for Lent (rather than giving something up), he practically screamed at me: "Doxy! Are you crazy?!?!? Renegotiate!!!"
I won't renegotiate, but I am working on something. I'm trying to finish a piece on Pilate. I hope to have it up by the weekend.
I am not an ambitious person, by and large---but that is not true when it comes to my spiritual journey. I want to do great things for God--want to open my life to His love, mercy, and grace, and then pour it out to others. I want to redeem all my mistakes and the pain I've caused people I love by showing that I can be faithful to a promise--even one so small as my Lenten discipline. I want---dare I say it?---to be holy.
This is bound to end in disappointment. For me, for others, for God.
Thank heavens I didn't give up chocolate or wine this year...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
OK..I gave up chocolate and wine.
The chocolate didn't last for 1 second...the wine, I've only transgressed once (while my SIL was up from Maryland).
I LOVE that picture btw! I saw it, but I wasn't sure you wanted to go for the gusto with the nail and the head and all - but, it's parfait!)
I wonder if God is more pleased if we try and fail than if we never make the attempt at all...
BTW, I simply cannot call you "Doxy"! It seems so...Hester Prynne.
I am SO not Hester Prynne! Dimmesdale would have been toast if he had been involved with me.
Of course, Hester may actually have been a sadist at heart. If she was an introvert and a misanthrope, she may not have really minded being so isolated--and maybe it was more fun to watch him suffer than to tell on him! ;-)
As for trying and failing being more pleasing to God...if that is the case, I am clearly going to be Teacher's Pet.
I've always thought that if she told on him, she'd lose the control, because his punishment would be in the hands of someone else. And at this point she was dying for some sort of power...hmmm, Hester Prynne, control freak??
And, nope, I'm the Teacher's Pet. Did you ever read the book, Angela's Ashes? (Gosh, those kids were poor): "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, it's been a minute since my last confession..."
That's me.
Post a Comment