Friday, June 10, 2011

Let’s Be Clear....

Anthony Weiner is a sexual harasser. He sent 21-year-old college student, Gennette Cordova, an unsolicited sexual photo of himself.

Unsolicited.

That’s really important—because it goes to the heart of what so many people do not seem to “get” about sexual harassment.

I’ve had this argument with more than one person over the last couple of days. I’ve argued with intelligent people—intelligent women, no less!—who have basically said to me, “I like his politics, so what he did doesn’t matter.” Or…even worse to me, in some ways: “It’s not sexual harassment unless you tell him to stop and he refuses.”

No.

NO.

HELL NO!!

Unless that young woman sent him a message saying “I want to see pictures of you naked,” he had no business sending her suggestive photos. She says she didn’t. Even he admits she didn’t. He says he sent the photo as “part of a joke.”

That makes him a sexual harasser. And that makes ANYONE defending him—on whatever grounds—apologists for sexual harassment.

I’m not laughing.

I loved his politics. I loved the way he seemed to be the only one who would stand up publicly to the assholes in Congress who are trying to ruin this country and run roughshod over women, LGBTs, immigrants, the poor—basically anyone who isn’t white, male, straight, and rich.

But I will not excuse him for what he did on that basis. I will not give him a pass for using his power and privilege to sexually harass anyone.

I will not sell out my expectations that progressives should be better than this. I will not sink to the level of those who will defend the Larry Craigs and David Vitters of this world, just to hang on to a seat in Congress. And for those who are wondering...I thought Bill Clinton should have resigned when the Lewinsky scandal broke—and I still think we would have avoided eight years of George W. Bush if he had.

I do not support sexual harassers, no matter what their politics happen to be. And if you are a true progressive, you shouldn’t either.

I expect more.

Consent matters. Integrity matters. Without them, we are no different than those we oppose—because there really isn’t a dime’s worth of difference between leftist abusers of women and conservative abusers of women.

It just hurts more coming from those we thought were our allies.

33 comments:

lcreekmo said...

You need a Like button. ;)

Great post.

Diane said...

Amen! Doxy, when you post, you really get it right!

Thank you! absolutely agree about Clinton, too.

Grandmère Mimi said...

My dear Doxy, thank you. I could not agree more. Weiner was a champion for the right causes. He let us all down, and I won't - no, I cannot give him a pass.

JCF said...

I agree. He needs to resign.

Lindy said...

Right on,, Dox! One hundred percent! Another excellent post.

just another duck on the pond said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann said...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. At last someone who gets it! I had to unsubscribe one of my lists where my alleged friends were arguing that it was consensual because they did not report him!

Kirkepiscatoid said...

I'm with Ann. And I'll also add "consent" is a moot point when power...and abuse of power...is involved.

johnieb said...

Kirk makes a good point; such disparities of power as are involved in this case require greater proof.

Fran said...

Having been in this conversation with you on FB, I know where you are coming from. In this post you have said it all and said it well, about Clinton included.

Many women seem to think that it is OK, which is it not, because of his politics. If one more person tells me that because David Vitter et al got to stay, so should Weiner, I want to scream myself.

Ugh, the whole mess is ugly.

Tamara said...

Amen. I see today that Pelosi and other Dems are calling for his resignation. I was watching coverage of this story on several political shows Thursday night. My 20 yr old son was listening, too. I asked him if Weiner was Tge best brain surgeon would he still go to him or choose an alternate doctor? Without hesitating he said he'd go to another surgeon because Weiner did something he shouldn't have personally and he lied career-wise. My don said if he did those things in this matter, he'd do the same in other matters. I thought that was very well thought out and very simply explained. If he gets it, why doesn't the rest of America not?

Grandmère Mimi said...

Speaking as a constituent of David Vitter :-(, I wanted the hypocrite gone years ago, but it did not happen. That he still serves is despicable and is certainly no excuse for Weiner to stay. Using Vitter as an example is no more than an appeal to baser instincts.

Magdalene6127 said...

Yep. Amen. Beautifully said.

8thdayplanner said...

Well, I'm obviously going to agree that consent matters. And really everything else that you wrote here. What I'm struggling with is -

"I thought Bill Clinton should have resigned when the Lewinsky scandal broke"

He should have resigned when the story broke? Are you only guilty if you get caught?

I think he should have resigned as soon his hand was on the zipper.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Thank you all. I'm really shocked that no one is arguing with me here. They certainly have elsewhere!

8thday--I stand corrected. ;-)

Ann said...

So great to find a community that "gets it"

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Ann--you can always go to Shakesville. That's where I hang out to keep my head from exploding these days....

terri c said...

Dear Doxy, thank you, thank you. I am sick of people trying to tell me that the only reason anyone is making a fuss of this is that it is about sex and we are Puritans. Character counts. And marriage counts--I can't imagine they had a marriage agreement that allowed for each to send tasteless photos to all and sundry, wanted or unwanted. I've missed you and had a luscious few hours reading the last couple of years' posts. Wishing you and yours every blessing.

wv: toractua, a spider in an insurance underwriter's office?

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Weiner is a nerd - reminds me of Eddie Haskell - who definitely "married up" and then consorts with women who are prostitutes and porn stars and casino "hostesses". Bill Clinton married Hillary and then consorts with the likes of Monica. Arnold marries a Kennedy - a beautiful woman - and then has a love child with his maid. John Edwards marries Elizabeth and has a love child with a journalist. Newt Gingrich . . . well, I'll stop now.

What is it about men and power? Is it an aphrodisiac that also destroys brain cells?

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Terri C.--good to "see" you again! Thanks for stopping by.... :-)

Elizabeth--why do you use "the likes of" to describe Monica Lewinsky?

Would it have been more understandable if Schwarzenegger had helped create a child with another politico, rather than the household help? (One has to wonder just how consensual that "affair" really was...).

If Rielle Hunter had been a lawyer, would that have been better than her being a filmmaker?

The men are all cheating, lying jackasses--but is there something else I'm missing?

Grandmère Mimi said...

is there something else I'm missing?

The men are all dicks? I've been wanting to say it, and now I have. Delete if you like, Doxy. I won't be offended. :-)

WV: lierspil

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Mimi---Bwahahahaha!!!

The only reason I haven't said it myself is because I'm trying to learn not to use gendered insults. For example, if I don't want people to call women "bitches," it's probably not right for me to call men "dicks." (Over and beyond the fact that dicks can be quite nice in the appropriate context. ;-)

Although calling them jackasses, makes me want to go out and apologize to Kirk's donkeys....

Grandmère Mimi said...

Doxy, I am old, and I have not yet rid myself of old pre-PC gendered epithets.

I once said jokingly at a family gathering that all men have a bit of the dick in them. My son-in-law predictably responded that all women have a bit of the bitch in them, to which I responded, "Touché!" What else could I say?

That son-in-law is no longer my son-in-law, but I don't think I broke up the marriage. Of course, I could be wrong.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

I would have told him "All women have a bit of the bitch in them because we have to deal with the dicks."

But that was before my consciousness was raised... ;-)

(And I am as sure as sure can be that you didn't break up the marriage.)

Grandmère Mimi said...

Brilliant retorts seldom come to mind when I need them, only long after the moment has passed.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Sad but true....

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

No, not all men are dicks, jackasses or dawgs. And, no, it would not have made a huge difference if they had all harassed or "slept with" the Queen of Sheba. My point was that all these powerful men choose women far less powerful and beautiful and talented and educated and intelligent than their wives. Why? I mean, if you are going to cheat, why not with someone who is at least up to the standards you have at home?

It's just so stupid.

Ann said...

because no powerful, beautiful, educated, intelligent woman (unless they are an unhealed victim of previous abuse) would fall for these guys when they already have spouses -- these guys look for the big V for victim on women to use and abuse.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Elizabeth--in most cases, they are PREDATORS. They choose women who are powerless--or at least significantly less powerful than they are. Since sexual harassment/assault/rape is typically a crime of power, rather than sex, that seems perfectly logical to me. I don't think that looks, talent, or intelligence really matter there.

FRT, Monica Lewinsky earned a master's degree at the London School of Economics. Whatever else you may think of her, she's no slouch in the intellect department...

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Or what Ann said... (We cross-posted.)

Fred Schwartz said...

Allow me to wade in on this issue. Almost every business hass a very specific policy on sexual harassment. I have worked on the federal, state and local levels and in both public and private schools. His behavior from the startwas sexual harassment and I beleive he knew that, he chose not to pay attention because he is "a person of power". I have seen this on a number of occasions and I find the continuing saga absolutely unacceptable be ye President or pauper, but especially a person of stature. Dumb, moronic, imbecilic, are all words that come to mind.
But, one step further, what about ethics and moral fiber? Doesn't that count for something? Men or women but its seems vastly more male than female convienently forget this simple fact. I would say they are not thinking but the fact is they are using the wrong part of their body for rational thought. He should have quit the moment this came out but in truth, it should have never happened.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

in truth, it should have never happened.

Amen, Fred. (Thanks for commenting!)

The sad thing is that the media--as usual--mostly fail to "get" it. They are framing this as "inappropriate behavior," rather than what it is--sexual harassment.

The even sadder thing to me is how many "progressives" don't get it either....

Anonymous said...

I heart you big time, Doxy. All in! / eyevolution