Sunday, October 24, 2010

Rage

I am feeling it these days. It's welling up like a fountain in my chest--and threatening to become a tidal wave.

Not good.

Mostly I am angry at injustice--and at the people who perpetuate it. (I'm angry with the Hydra too, but--unfortunately--I can't blog about that.)

I am angry at the willful ignorance that passes for politics these days. I am angry about a citizenry that won't do its homework, makes gods of lying "entertainers," and rewards politicians for negative and downright dishonest advertisements. (And on that last, I'm talking about ALL of them--not just one party...) Make. It. Stop.

I am angry about people who promise the moon and have no intention of delivering. I am particularly angry about people who do this while asking for my money and my time/vote.

I am angry about a society that puts profits before people, and actually rewards the robbers while it throws people out of their homes into the streets. I am angry at the selfishness of those who "have"--determined to deny their fellow citizens a decent standard of living and some security because it might mean they have to give up some frills in their lives.

I am furious with people who have the power to help others--and refuse to do it.

I am angry with people who say "Have patience"--people who don't have to worry about being homeless or going without medical care or being denied the chance to marry the one they love. People who can afford to "wait" for justice for others because they already have all the "justice" they need.

I am angry with people who were born on third base but who have somehow convinced themselves that they hit a triple. Who believe that they have earned what they have--without ever once examining the unearned privilege of their race or the socioeconomic status of their family of origin or their heterosexual orientation.

I'm angry about racism, sexism, homophobia--and I'm particularly angry with "Christians" who use our faith to oppose caring for the least among us and who bully, lie, and hate in the name of Christ.

I am angry about a society that apparently requires the suicides of seven kids (that I know of) in the last month--and the countless more whose names are known only to God--before it wakes up to the fact that meanness permeates our culture and that we are, in essence, murdering our children when we tell them it's not okay to be different.

I'm angry with the church--which also bullies and manipulates and treats people in shameful ways and brings disrepute on the Gospel.

Today, I am particularly angry on behalf of those who are abused by the ordination process. It is difficult enough to be called by God--to feel that you have no choice but to give your life in ministry to God's people. But to have to endure hazing (and I use that term on purpose) by those in the church to be able to exercise your call is the height of cruelty. I am furious with people who call themselves Christians and inflict this viciousness.

Finally, I'm angry at myself. For not doing more. For allowing this impotent rage to bleed into my life and my relationships with the people I love. For being less than God calls me to be. For being the Pharisee, rather than the tax collector (Luke 18: 9-14). For failing to love my enemies and to pray for them.

Domine Iesu Christe, Fili Dei, miserere mei, peccatoris.