I've been a bit scarce this week because I had to reapply for my job yesterday. This involved writing pages and pages outlining all my professional accomplishments and offering passionate explanations about why I am the best---nay, the only---person for this job.
My proposal will go to an independent review team---the members of which do not know me or give a rat's patootie about the fact that I'm a single mother with two kids, a car loan, and a new puppy. I have no idea how many others will apply---it's a Federal contract, which means it has to be put up for bid every year.
My bosses seem to love me, but the review team doesn't work for them. All they do is take the proposals they receive, rate them according to a rubric they have been given, and try to decide who can do a reasonable job the cheapest. I can't blame them for this, although "low bid" is rarely synonymous with "good value" in my experience...
My ex is still unemployed. Although it appears that he has decided to try the consulting route (we aren't talking much these days...), as far as I know, I am the only person in the family with a "real" job at the moment.
My contracts are up at the end of August. As you can imagine, this is nerve-wracking.
I am bold enough to ask for your prayers on this one. I adore my job, love my bosses and coworkers, and feel privileged to get up and go to work every day.
But, in the words of Maggie from Chorus Line:
I really need this job
Please, God, I need this job!
I've got to get this job!
This is the life of the self-employed writer. Feast or famine. I've been doing this for nearly 12 years now, so I know the drill.
It's just the first time it's mattered so damned much.
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Assist us mercifully, O Lord, in these our supplications and prayers, and dispose the way of thy servant towards the attainment of everlasting salvation; that, among all the changes and chances of this mortal life, she may ever be defended by thy gracious and ready help; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. --- BCP, p. 832
Oh, and P.S. Lord ? If it's cool with you, let's allow our beloved Doxy to keep her job, OK ? Amen.
David, bless you, my friend. You have been the man with the prayers lately---and I thank you. :-)
Doxy, my prayers are with you, my dear, for the job and for better relations with your ex.
We are waiting to hear from my ex-DIL whether she will share the school shoes she bought for the children. My son offered to pay half the cost, because sometimes they outgrow the shoes before they wear them out - and they are expensive. He went ahead and bought a couple of sets of school uniforms, just not to have to deal with his ex on that question.
Oh, and she may be getting married this weekend. The marriage license notice was in the paper last week, and I believe it must be used within a month.
My son is in an emotional slump about this, so prayers for him would be appreciated - and for the children that this will be good for them. If not good, then not too bad.
Mimi--that kind of thing just breaks my heart (about the shoes).
But her getting married again so precipitously is incredibly awful! They've only been divorced for a few months!!!! She really *is* a selfish git, isn't she?
I know I hurt my kids by leaving their father, but I sometimes console myself with the knowledge that I haven't made it more difficult by throwing another man in the mix...
But my history showed me firsthand how bad that can be. My mother has been married 5 (yes, you read that correctly!) times. My father was the first, so I had 3 stepfathers before I left home for good. I have always sworn I would never do that to my kids. I'll spare you the stories of why.
Mimi, I keep you all in my prayers, but I will add a special petition over this latest situation. I pray that your XDIL's intended is a good and gentle man who will treat them all well, and that your son will find some peace and comfort to cope with this painful situation. I especially pray for the children---who have no control over any of this. May the good Lord guard and keep them.
Thanks :) I must admit I absolutely love the language of our prayerbook. Amongst many other things, it's a wonderful piece of inspiring literature. I'm often brought quite literally to tears by it at times... (which may just mean I'm an emotionally sloppy schmuck ;)
David, I love the language of the prayer book, too. There's a suitable prayer for nearly every occasion.
Doxy, I admire your care and concern for your children, your putting them first. That's what my son tries to do, and he well knows that neither he nor the kids are ready for him to be in a serious relationship.
I must believe that God cares for and watches over the children, or I'd go crazy.
which may just mean I'm an emotionally sloppy schmuck ;)
Hey! I *like* that in a man!!!
Do you know that I have never, EVER seen my ex cry? Not at sad movies. Not at my leaving. Never. I really think it's worrisome if you can't shed a tear over *anything.*
And you might be interested to know that my EFM group will be doing an in-depth study of the BCP this year. They asked if they could do it---I think we all love it, but none of us feels as if we know if well enough.
Mimi---your son is a good parent. I hope, when the time is right, that he will find someone who can restore his faith in love.
Good luck, and prayers for sure.
Here's one from the NZ Prayer Book:
Almighty God,
you see that we have no power of ourselves to help ourselves; keep us both outwardly in our bodies and inwardly in our souls, that we may be defended from all adversities which may happen tot he body, and from all evil thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul.
God of opportunity and change, praise to you for giving us life at this critical time. As our horizons extend, keep us loyal to our past; as our dangers increase, help us to prepare the future; keep us trusting and hopeful, ready to recognize your kingdom as it comes. Amen.
And God, Doxy needs a job. If this is the one for her, please assist the deciders to decide in her favor. Amen.
Good luck. That's cool about your EFM class studying the BCP. I'm finally going to start taking EFM, because a dear friend is mentoring it. Peace and blessings to you.
"allow our beloved Doxy to keep her job, .. Amen"
And Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-Amen-AMEN!!!!!
Bill N.
(Emerging from my own self-centered miasma)
Prayers ascending. Ditto to what David said.
Dear Lord...I'm signing the petition for Doxy to keep her job, and so are my parents and my mother-in-law and my sister-in-laws (both of them), my brother, my cousins, all the peeps who read my blog...(Eat, Pray, Love)...Doxy...MICHAEL J. FOX just signed it...
(((Doxy)))
Jufi prayers ascending, with a special petition for all the writers we know and love.
prayers and thoughts. good luck on this one.
that has to be hell to have to reapply for the job you are already doing. good luck.
A prayer by Phoebe Griswold from "Women's Uncommon Prayers," titled a "Prayer for Support." Jesus reach for me./Spirit strengthen men./God catch me.
And I would add, while doing all of that, Great Three in One, please make sure Doxy keeps her job.
I think "Maggie's prayer" says it all, so I will add my voice to hers. Hang in there.
Wow, what a scary position to be in. Been there, done that as a single mom--saw the layoffs coming and changed jobs quick. But, didn't like the job I had as much as you like yours, so it wasn't as heart wrenching. Plus, I didn't have to justify my position at all, someone else had already decided my position (not me, but my position) was expendable.
Or, you could do what the Kevin Spacey character in American Beauty did when asked to justify his job...
You know you're always in my prayers. I completely empathise with the life of the self-employed!!!
Hugs to you dear one!
Oh, Doxy, I can relate! My ex lost his job a couple of months after our separation and remains unemployed ... and not looking for work because he's thinking about becoming a real estate investor ... don't get me started on how this means he'll lose everything he has (which isn't much)! I only have one child to support and the car's paid off, but the mortgage ... and the work that needs to be done on the house ... and the health insurance premiums ... and, yes, Mimi, the school shoes!! (Oh, Mimi, I'm so sorry!) I feel your pain, sister.
Much love and an echo to all the above prayers. Holding you and the deciders in the Light.
May God hold you, angels attend you, and all work out in the end. Good luck.
Linda McMillan
Prayers headed your way, hun. Yo, God? Doxy needs a job even more than I do. Give her a good one first, mmkay? Thanks! Amen.
What Kate said. Did you hear that, God? And I pray that you hold your beloved daughter Doxy safe in your loving arms today and all days.
I add my prayers to the heavenly chorus above.
Doxy, you've been much on my mind, and I do pray for you. The job, your situation with your ex, all happening at once must seem overwhelming.
The Lord bless you and keep you:
The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you:
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.
Doxy, one bit of good news here. My ex-DIL will let the children take the school shoes back and forth.
After a long day of traveling with my children and Jasper, I log in before bed to find this outpouring of love and grace. I am humbled and overwhelmed by all your beautiful prayers. "Thank you" is completely inadequate, but it will have to do. Just know that you moved me to tears.
Mimi--When I was in high school, I was in the chorus. That prayer was our closing song for every performance we ever gave. In fact, 26 years later, the chorus continues to use it. It has great meaning for me, so thank you.
And I'm glad your XDIL has finally gotten *some* sense. Let me know about anything that transpires this weekend.
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